I just gift wrapped bread.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
