There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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