Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
