she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
