Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
