My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
