"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
