She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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