Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
