There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
