Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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