before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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