At least make sure they are 18
Why
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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