"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He? As in you personified your dick?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
