Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
