she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
