is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
