Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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