I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
