So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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