I want to walk on stilts...naked
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
