No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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