Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
