Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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