It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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