That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
