Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
