Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
