just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
