Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
