I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
