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were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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