How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
