Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
