i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
