She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do herpes really smell.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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