I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My hand turned me down
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
