I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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