you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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