bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
