that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
