All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
