Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
