Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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