I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
