you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
