I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
