it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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