if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
either way he was missing a nipple.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
