he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
NoShamevember. You game?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
