After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
